Marketing in 2025 is an unpredictable LANDSCAPE.
Trends are constantly shifting…
While it’s tempting to get caught up in the latest fUnNy tiktok trends, brainrot videos for traffic…
The core principles of real EFFECTIVE marketing remain as steady as ever - know your audience, craft clear messages and deliver VALUE.
Now here’s a fun sarcastic list of PRO TIPS!!!
Beneath the humor, the path to success isn’t about jumping on every new trend. It’s about using modern tools strategically.
Influencers are your new gods. Forget data, metrics, and long-term strategy! Just find someone with a huge following (even if most are fake) and let them sell your product with a smile. ROI? It doesn’t matter when you’ve got the vibe.
Pop-ups are the secret sauce to success. Your website isn’t complete unless it has at least five pop-ups battling for attention like kids on a sugar high. Otherwise, what are you even doing?
AI is your employee. Let ChatGPT run your marketing department. Why hire humans when AI can do it faster, smarter, and without ever needing a coffee break?
Claim the title “guru” or “ninja.” Add “guru” to your bio, because it’s not about results, it’s about your title!!!
Clickbait subject lines all the way. If your email subject line doesn’t make someone drop everything to open it, did you even market? Bonus points for using phrases like, “You won’t believe what happens next!”
Post content constantly. Post every hour, minute, second. Burnout is just your creative genius struggling to escape. Schedule those memes at 3 a.m. and go viral.
Every brand needs a mascot. The weirder, the better. Consider a sexy carrot. Because why not? Mascots are the future.
Webinars: The ultimate road to success. No one wants to attend, but that’s not the point. It’s all about your 84-slide PowerPoint masterpiece.
Go live on social media, always. Whether you’re giving marketing tips or eating lunch, your followers need constant updates on your every move.
Repurpose old content endlessly. That 2017 coaching video? Just add “2025” to it. Boom.
Run ads everywhere. Google, TikTok, bathroom stalls, if it’s a surface - place an ad. Who cares where your actual target audience is.
Start a podcast. Now this is crucial, whatever you fucking do just start a podcast about it. Easiest way to make conversions because everybody cares!
Slow down your website. There’s nothing like a spinning wheel to tell us how much discount we got, maybe put 5 more 4k animations too.
Every marketing video needs this intro. If your “rags to riches” story doesn’t bring people to tears, your funnel is broken. Suck it up and cry on camera.
Tell people that your service is “ai driven” - hell even call it Quantum Plumbing 24 System. Innovation sells!
Go viral or quit. If your strategy doesn’t include something ridiculous, like eating raw dog food and jumping off a cliff while explaining people your service, are you even doing marketing?
Blame algorithm changes for everything. If your sales dip it’s 100% not your fault… You just got shadowbanned and that’s it, yeah Instagram is guilty.
Anyway, please don’t chase every trend and don’t fall for these brainrot short form videos…
Focus on what ACTUALLY WORKS - authenticity, creating value and being simple & straightforward.
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